Find Out if Diversity™ Might Be for You

Hey you. Whiny toxic nerd screaming about the loss of opportunity for white men in movies even when 80% of all movies in the US feature white men, even movies about characters of other races… (See: Green Book)

Or screaming about the replacement of white superheroes in comics; the white heroes you are complaining about being temporarily amended, because no one is getting rid of Thor or Iron Man or Captain America in the comics.

Yeah, those hoary characters sit down for a few years and then writers want to write the original characters again and Captain America: Sam Wilson (also known as American Falcon) gets a costume change and goes back to his original moniker enlightened as to the challenges of being an American icon. Whatever.

In the movies, that’s different, those guys want a life again. Could you imagine people conflating you as Captain America for the rest of your life?

Well, I could, and it would be SWEET, but that’s me. Those characters dressing as your favorite heroes won’t stay in those roles. It was just to let other people get a taste of the glory.

You know… that feeling of representation you get when smiting enemies with Mjolnir, throwing Captain America’s impossible shield or putting on Tony Stark’s almost magical armor. It’s nice isn’t it. That’s why you’re complaining, if we’re being honest.

Or how about that screaming you guys are making about the replacement of white men in roles in society where for hundreds of years white men were the only people able to participate; I mean, does every CEO HAVE to be a white guy? Does every board of directors HAVE to be Whiter than a polar bear’s back in the middle of the Arctic wastes? (Oh, you’ve never seen one. Sorry.)

What about the constant lathering profusely on the spread of unwanted diversity into every corner of the globe, fearful of your coming minority in the world of the future… You’re not going to like what I have to tell you…

I have a secret. Come closer. Have a seat. Brace yourself. You good? Okay, here we go.

You are already a minority everywhere else on Earth. <mind blown, only atoms remain>

Let that sink in. Looking at the overall scheme of things, you are already a minority, have been one for quite some time and its only your complete insanity which would have you think you have ever truly been in charge of anything. You have done everything in your power to promote yourselves as the saviors of everything, masters of the Universe, architects of the civilized world.

It’s not true, honey. Not even close. Every creation you made has been on the shoulders of giants before you. You are just one more link on an ever expanding chain which is humanity. If the last two thousand years are any indication, perhaps its time you allowed some other people to get into the ring with you because from where I sit, the state of the world, despite what you consider your best efforts, looks like you’re getting your ass kicked.

Get help. Maybe it’s time to see a doctor.

Ask your doctor about Diversity™. (Product name: giveafuckaboutsomeone besidesyourself)

Are you unable to see color, creed, or culture if it’s not your own? Are you intolerant of any other thought process unless you can steal it for profit?

Is your society collapsing in a orgy of consumerism, perpetual warfare and political partisanship? Will it take the combined efforts of the entire species to correct the environmental destruction caused by your promotions of your way of life?

Are people simply fed up with you, preferring that white men simply sit down, shut up and stop molesting them at work? I know, right. Every day there is another scandal of some white, rich, powerful mogul using his power to molest women at work. Or tell women how they can take care of their bodies. Or have panels in government where no women even get to sit in on the committee meeting. Or just engaging in rampant misogyny, just because. One of those monsters even became president AFTER this and I quote:

• “I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there, and she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything.” (It’s not clear who Trump was talking about.)
• “I’m automatically attracted to beautiful [women] — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything … Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.”

Have you experienced a social trend away from everything you have held dear though hundreds of years of socialized oppression?

Has your mediocrity (also known as American Exceptionalism) been celebrated so long you have no idea of what real talent is?

If you are a lifelong bigot with the inability to show empathy, discernment or sympathy for anyone who isn’t you, it’s possible you’re a complete narcissist and Diversity™ might not be right for you. If you cannot use Diversity™ we recommend you stay as far away from other Human beings as possible.

Diversity™ may cause feelings of inclusion into the greater part of the Human species, euphoria in the presence of people different than yourself and a complete acceptance of the connectedness of all mankind.

There may also be some oily flatulence, but you can learn to live with that. You’ve been a bigot for years, you have no idea how toxic THAT was.

Ask your doctor about Diversity™ today.

Thaddeus Howze is an award-winning essayist, author and journalist for websites having discriminating tastes in speculative fiction, non-fiction journalism and critical thinking.