Find Out if Diversity™ Might Be for You

In light of the pending release of Captain Marvel, we recommend a new medical treatment for toxic comic fans

Thaddeus Howze

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Hey you. Whiny toxic nerd screaming about the loss of opportunity for white men in movies even when 80% of all movies in the US feature white men, even movies about characters of other races… (See: Green Book)

Or screaming about the replacement of white superheroes in comics; the white heroes you are complaining about being temporarily amended, because no one is getting rid of Thor or Iron Man or Captain America in the comics.

Jane Foster as Thor. She made being Thor look easy. Take a load off, Odinson. Lady Jane has got this covered.

Yeah, those hoary characters sit down for a few years and then writers want to write the original characters again and Captain America: Sam Wilson (also known as American Falcon) gets a costume change and goes back to his original moniker enlightened as to the challenges of being an American icon. Whatever.

In the movies, that’s different, those guys want a life again. Could you imagine people conflating you as Captain America for the rest of your life?

Well, I could, and it would be SWEET, but that’s me. Those characters dressing as your favorite heroes won’t stay in those roles. It was just to let other people get a taste of the glory.

You know… that feeling of representation you get when smiting enemies with Mjolnir, throwing Captain America’s impossible shield or putting on Tony Stark’s almost magical armor. It’s nice isn’t it. That’s why you’re complaining, if we’re being honest.

America! Fuck yeah!

Or how about that screaming you guys are making about the replacement of white men in roles in society where for hundreds of years white men were the only people able to participate; I mean, does every CEO HAVE to be a white guy? Does every board of directors HAVE to be Whiter than a polar bear’s back in the middle of the Arctic wastes? (Oh, you’ve never seen one. Sorry.)

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