Major Bites Back! Err, again.

The White House’s First and Second Dog (Champ), weigh in on the “aggressive incident” earlier today.

I know what you heard. I know it sounds bad, especially if it’s made the news cycle. I am sure I will hear my name more in a day than I’ve had in my whole life. Let me assure you, there is more to the story than those people have been telling you.

What had happened was…

“I was invited to the White House. It’s the biggest house I have ever seen. It’s filled with people wandering about looking official. No one every says a kind word or throws a ball while I was there. Not once.

You know, there is a lot going on, from a dog’s perspective there. Let me give you the inside scoop because I know you Humans can’t perceive the Smelloverse the way dogs can.

The White House has a terrible smell profile.

This place smells old. Older than anything I have ever had the pleasure to roll in. A bone-deep age you can smell in any corner. But you have to dig for it. There are so many more recent odors on top of that.

This place smells of fear and loathing. They tried to mask it with their vile and evil scent-destroying soaps, but they can’t touch something this deep down. It’s woven into every…