You Don’t Know Me

You don’t know what I believe to be true.

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You don’t know if I even believe in “objective” reality. You don’t know my perspective on whether I think humanity is capable of rational thought as a species.

You don’t know if I believe in consensual reality; the idea we collectively are creating what we perceive to be reality through our interactions on this planet.

Honestly, the only thing you can be certain of where I am concerned is that I write. Parables, perspectives, rants, omens, and stories, where I evince a number of perspectives, some of them may appear to be more true than others.

Some are more cautionary tales to remind people to tread lightly. Others are Utopian wonderlands to tease people into wanting what such societies could offer us.

Under no circumstances should you allow our familiarity shared through my storytelling and my writings to be the bridge to what you may deem is ME.

I am a thousand times more complicated than anything I have ever written. I indeed, hold contradictory points of view, multiple perspectives on a single thought, I can be inside of a thing and outside of a thing and yet not a part of that thing in any way.

Please do not presume to tell me what perspective will be the most suitable for changing the world. Because what you are offering me is YOUR perspective and while it may allow you to create a group of people who are following your way, it does not invalidate the viewpoints of anyone who does not.

Perry Gruber, you may be a genius. Your views of money and the nature of the future may be revolutionary. But you are not the first person to consider them. Nor will you be the last.

I tried to find you and your organization when I first heard of you. I thought my perspectives on the Zeitgeist and the need for humanity to change its goals were in sync. But I suspect you now consider my viewpoints to be too limited for such lofty goals as you are attempting to achieve.

If my views are too mundane for one such as you, it is just as well. I make no pretense of being better than my fellows. I have the same foibles. The same desires for comforts for me and mine as every other Human on Earth. I have the same fears: a fear of government control, a fear of being without resources, a fear of my fellow man not having my back. All of these fears are legitimate and have been shown to be the state of the world at one point or another.

Other places have it even worse. Where government can roll into your home, shoot members of your family, rape the rest, and loot what little valuables you may have left. (Southern Sudan, if you are interested.)

In light of such places, I feel blessed I can close my door and not expect to see the Army looting and killing my neighbors while I look on impotently. But make no mistake, warm fuzzy thinking will not prevent such things. The money of the one percent won’t make such things obsolete either.

It will require more than just friendly thoughts to make the world a better place. It will require action, both in the physical sense and in the literal one. I have been a teacher and mentor of youth for 35 years. I have worked in information technology for 25 years. I taught college-level computer science, worked in high schools teaching literacy.

My commitment to improving the world has shown up in my students and their achievements. In their continued efforts to be great individuals and to bring to the world the LIGHT I have taught them to seek out. Not all of them do it the way I did. Some choose paths far different from my own. I will not renounce them, even if I don’t always understand their choices.

Everyone has a role. Everyone has an opportunity to cast light into the darkness. I have been a soldier. I have understood the life and death consequences of that work.

That is why I teach. To give people opportunities for development which should, if they are lucky, preclude them having to take a life to prove a point, since technically, war is a physical resolution to a problem that could not be resolved with words.

You may mock my words, deeming them less than the actions you and yours take today, but I have been waging this particular effort for almost 40 years. Changing the world is a slow process, sometimes you have an army, other times it is only you and the will to persist.

Today, it is just me and my immediate family. We struggle to make due in a world that is hostile, not as dangerous as it could be, but certainly not as inviting as it might be if I were a billionaire.

I believe in the ability of the Human species to adapt and evolve. If I didn’t, I would still be a soldier somewhere doing my very best to kill anyone who didn’t believe as I did.

I want to be a different kind of change agent. One where I don’t destroy my enemies, I convert them or join them as the case may be. I don’t know you Perry Gruber, but I had the distinct impression you were mocking me.

Don’t do that.

I have sacrificed a good portion of my adult life trying to accomplish the same goals you are:

  • A world where Human decency prevails.
  • A world where humanity is driven by its best ambitions, not its most venal ones.
  • I long for the place where we are not forced into perpetual slavery to enrich a handful of people at the top of a chain of hierarchy we shall never see the top of.
  • A planet in harmony with itself and the people who understand their role as shepherds of that planet and its valuable ecosystem.

While my methods may not be as coordinated or organized as yours have been, they are, in their way, just as successful.

Never assume because I am writing a thing, that I have given up. That I don’t believe change is possible. That nothing good can be done for the species as a whole.

When I stop talking, it is safe to assume I have given up on Humanity. When nuclear weapons are released and the future of humanity draws to a close, then and only then should you assume I have given up.

And know this: Should I get up after said apocalypse and realize I am still alive, for whatever reason the Universe saw fit to have me survive, I will go right back to doing what I can do for anyone and everyone I meet.

The very best I can, for as long as I am able.

You don’t know me.

Not one bit.

I am unstoppable.

I never quit on my people.

I never stop doing what is right.

If you have ever really read anything I have written, you would already know this.

Good luck with your program to reclaim the world from those bastards who believe it belongs to them. If you can create a world without money, without the need for it, without the need for suffering and exploitation, if you can convince the world to agree to your ideas of making the world a better place, I salute you and will happily sign up at the door of your agency.

I do not preach the doom of the world.

I preach a gospel for the cognitively dissonant. For people for whom facts do not change their behavior.

I say those things they cannot say to themselves in the hopes they might hear what they sound like and awaken.

Perry Gruber, you turn on the lights in your way.

And I will turn them on in mine.

Good day to you, sir.

Thaddeus Howze

— writer, architect, teacher, lecturer, soldier, mentor, leader, believer in the best of what Humanity has to offer. Never doubt that for a moment.

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Thaddeus Howze is a writer, essayist, author and professional storyteller for mysterious beings who exist in non-Euclidean realms beyond our understanding. You can follow him on Twitter or support his writings on Patreon. But one of the best ways to show you care is to share this story.

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